Instead of:
“You need to stand up for yourself.”
try:
“Let’s figure out together what would help you feel safe.”
The goal is to create an environment in which the child feels believed and supported.
Don’t Blame the Victim
Statements such as:
“Why didn’t you fight back?”
“Why were you there?”
“Why didn’t you tell someone?”
can unintentionally make a child feel responsible for what happened.
Responsibility belongs with the person choosing to cause harm.
A child should not have to become tougher, louder, or more aggressive simply to deserve safety.
Documenting Incidents Can Help
If repeated incidents are occurring, documentation can be useful.
How to Ask Without Making the Child Shut Down
The way adults ask questions matters.
Instead of:
“Who is bullying you?”
try:
“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed quieter lately. Is something happening at school?”
Instead of:
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
