I described trying to contact Chloe.
I described the letters.
Chloe’s attorney stood for cross-examination.
He was good.
That mattered.
“Mr. Hayes, you love these children.”
“Yes.”
“You consider yourself their father.”
I hesitated.
“I consider myself the person who raised them.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Mara objected.
Overruled.
I looked toward the judge.
Then toward Leo.
“Yes.”
“Despite knowing you are not their biological father.”
“Yes.”
“And Mia calls you Dad.”
“Yes.”
“Did you discourage that?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because she started doing it when she was four.”
“And you allowed it.”
“Yes.”
“You enjoyed it.”
My jaw tightened.
“I loved her.”
“That isn’t an answer.”
“Yes.”
I heard Chloe breathe behind him.
Her attorney moved closer.
“You had planned to attend graduate school in Chicago, correct?”
“Yes.”
“You did not.”
“No.”
“Your life changed because Chloe left.”
“Yes.”
“You resented her.”
“Yes.”
Mara looked at me sharply.
The lawyer almost smiled.
Finally.
He thought he had me.
“You resented my client?”
“I did.”
“So it is possible your feelings toward Chloe influenced the children’s perception of her.”
“No.”
“You just testified you resented her.”
“I did.”
“Then—”
“You asked whether I resented Chloe. You didn’t ask whether I told the kids to.”
The lawyer paused.
I continued.
“I resented her every time I had a sick baby and no medical history. I resented her when I worked until two in the morning and got up at six to make lunches. I resented her when Noah asked what he had done wrong. I resented her when Sophie watched every mother in the audience at school performances. I resented her when Leo stopped being a child because someone had to be responsible before I understood what was happening.”
My voice shook.
“But I never told them to hate her.”
The lawyer interrupted.
“Mr. Hayes—”
“I told them I didn’t know why she left.”
“Please answer only the questions.”
“I sent letters.”
He stopped.
“What?”
“Every year.”
Mara closed her eyes briefly.
I had gone beyond the question.
But it was out.
