“I thought I was tired,” he said. “I thought I needed a break. But I made you feel like everything was your responsibility.”
“You did.”
“I don’t know why I said that.”
“You were angry.”
“I shouldn’t have been.”
“No.”
Another silence.
Then he whispered,
“I’m sorry.”
I closed my eyes.
I had imagined hearing those words so many times.
But now that they were finally spoken, they didn’t magically make me feel better.
“I’m glad you said it,” I told him.
“But?”
“But I’m still hurt.”
He understood.
At least I hoped he did.
The next morning, I received a message from him.
It was a photograph.
Both girls were lying beside him on the bed, sleeping peacefully.
Underneath the picture, he had written:
I never knew how much work this was.
I stared at the message for a long time.
Then I typed back:
Now you know.
When I returned home that afternoon, Brandon was sitting on the couch with both girls asleep against him.
He looked exhausted.
His hair was messy.
His shirt was stained.
There was a burp cloth hanging over one shoulder.
For the first time in months, he looked like the father I had imagined he would become.
He looked up when I entered.
Neither of us spoke.
Then one of the girls stirred.
Brandon immediately adjusted her blanket.
That small movement told me everything.
He had changed.
Not completely.
Not overnight.
But something had finally reached him.
He stood carefully.
“Can we talk?”
I nodded.
He put the girls down and followed me into the kitchen.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me immediately.”
“Good.”
“I don’t expect everything to go back to normal.”
“There is no normal anymore.”
He nodded.
“I know.”
He took a deep breath.
“I want to fix this.”
I looked at him.
“You can’t fix four days by being good for four days.”
“I know.”
“You can’t undo what you said.”
“I know.”
“You can’t erase the fact that when I needed you most, you chose to leave.”
His eyes filled with tears.
“I know.”
I looked down at my hands.
“Then what exactly are you asking for?”
“A chance.”
I didn’t answer.
He continued.
“Not a chance to make you forget. A chance to prove that I can be different.”
