So the following Tuesday, I went to the botanical garden, alone, and let myself notice things the way Thomas would have — the particular green of new leaves, an old man feeding sparrows from a paper bag. Afterward I wandered the farmers’ market and bought more peaches than I could possibly eat, because they smelled like a version of summer I hadn’t let myself enjoy in over a year. Then I drove to the ice cream stand on Oakridge Street and ordered vanilla without thinking twice, and only afterward remembered that vanilla was the flavor Thomas had guessed for me during our second week of knowing each other — and gotten exactly right.
On the way home I stopped by the lake and fed the ducks, who ignored me completely, exactly as promised. I laughed out loud at that, loud enough that a jogger glanced over. For once, I didn’t care what anyone thought of the sound.
